


Sneaking Into People's Houses to Get a Personal Letter Back Is Not Recommended

by PinkPurple5



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz, Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Gen, I can't think of any
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-16
Updated: 2018-08-16
Packaged: 2019-06-28 11:07:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,786
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15706008
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PinkPurple5/pseuds/PinkPurple5
Summary: When Evan loses his letter to a grumpy Connor Murphy, he enlists Jeremy and Michael to help him steal it back. Nothing can go wrong.





	Sneaking Into People's Houses to Get a Personal Letter Back Is Not Recommended

**Author's Note:**

> It's the same as the old one, just revamped.  
> This was based on a Tumblr post I saw on how Michael and Jeremy would react to Evan's letter getting stolen. Sadly, I lost the link, but if you think you've found the headcanon, please tell me!  
> Enjoy!

Opal Danson sits down beside Evan Hansen and whips out her phone before Evan can say anything. Michael Mell and Jeremy Heere look up from their phones.

“Mind telling me what this is about?” Opal demands, showing off some weird texts, some saying, “Hey Opal, do you know where Zoe Murphy lives?” “Opal, how do you use a grappling hook?” “Opal, WHY THE HELL DIDN’T YOU TELL US ZOE EFFING MURPHY SLEEPS WITH A FRYING PAN UNDERNEATH HER PILLOW?!?!”

The boys stare at the texts for one minute before Jeremy taps Michael. “Tell her.”

Michael clears his throat. “Funny story, Connor Murphy found Evan Hansen in the library and signed his cast for him-”

“Wow, that’s new,” Opal comments.

“Then he stole a personal letter of mine,” Evan explains. “You know those letters my therapist made me write? I wrote a not-so uplifting one that had a lot of personal information in it and Connor read it and got mad because Zoe’s name was in it and he stormed off with it-”

“Then Evan called us, all freaked out…”

*

_One Week Earlier_

“Zombie behind you!” Jeremy shrieks.

“Thanks!” Michael yells back. He turns his avatar around and shoots the zombie.

“I wonder how Evan’s doing, he didn’t respond to my text asking him to come over,” Jeremy says. Suddenly, his phone rings. “There’s your answer,” Michael says.

Jeremy answers it. “Hello? Evan? Are you alright? Woah, slow down, I don’t understand what you're saying.” Michael pauses the game and motions Jeremy to put Evan on speaker.

On the other side of the call, Evan is freaking out. The letter that Connor stole was full of personal information that anyone could make fun of. Not to mention, it was full of sappy things about the only friends he ever had and how he felt about Zoe and _it’s really freaking pathetic_.

“Evan, just breathe, you’re going to be fine,” Michael soothes.

“Take your time, remember, in and out,” Jeremy says. This goes on for a while before Evan can finally breathe and explain.

“Ok, so you know Connor Murphy, that crazy loner stoner kid? He found me in the library and signed my cast so we can ‘both pretend to have friends’ then he took my letter-”

“Wait, _Connor Murphy_ signed your cast?” Jeremy interrupts.

“Shut up, Jeremy,” Michael hisses.

“ _The_ Connor Murphy, as in the always high and gets mad at everyone Connor Murphy?” Jeremy asks.

“Yup,” Evan confirms. “Anyway, he read my letter and got mad because his sister’s name was in it and now he has it in his possession! And he might spread it around school everyone will tease me more than they normally do your lives will be ruined and Opal’s gonna kill me-”

“Chill, Opal doesn’t need to know,” Michael says. “She’s in Canada right now, this whole thing will solved before she gets back.”

“Why will our lives be ruined?” Jeremy asks.

“They won’t, we’re going to come up with a way to get the letter back,” Michael decides. “Let’s brainstorm. Any ideas?”

*Cricket noises*

“You could seduce him with your tree knowledge,” Michael half-jokes.

“Absolutely not,” Jeremy snaps.

“What if we snuck into Connor’s bedroom and looked around for the letter ourselves?” Evan suggests.

“Great idea!” Jeremy says. “Where does Connor live?”

“With Zoe Murphy,” Evan says.

“Where does Zoe live?” Michael asks.

*More Cricket noises*

“We could ask Opal,” Evan says. “She’s been to Zoe’s house before.”

Michael flips his phone out of his pocket and texts Opal.

 **PLAYER1** \- Hey Opal, do you know where Zoe Murphy lives? She left something at school  & we’re gonna give it back.

 **GraffitiOpal** \- 335, Schuyler Avenue, #26. Say hi! d(^u^)b

“Ok, we go tonight!” Michael declares.

*

_7:00 pm_

Michael had texted his friends to wear black in order to look inconspicuous. One look at the weather and the colour was changed to navy blue. Michael finally took off his red hoodie and slipped on a dark blue jacket that belonged to his dad. Jeremy found a leather jacket in his dad’s closet for Evan to borrow.

Jeremy had earlier decided that they would steal Mr. Heere's car because it was quieter than Michael’s old PT Cruiser.

Michael shows at Jeremy’s with a grappling hook in his hand. Jeremy hands him the keys.

“Why do we need a grappling hook?” Jeremy asks.

“Because every great heist has to have a grappling hook!” Michael states, like it’s obvious. (A/N: It’s not) “Can you text Opal on how to use one?”

Evan takes out his phone and asks incredulously, “It didn’t come with an instruction booklet?”

“Nope!” Michael says with a grin.

 **TREES** \- Opal, how do you use a grappling hook?

 **GraffitiOpal** \- You really need to change your chat name. And just look it up, I’m busy!

Jeremy looks up grappling hooks and teaches Michael the basic principles. The boys gather around the table for a review of the plan.

“Step one: we check to make sure no one is home. All the lights have to be off. Especially in Connor’s room. Step two: we climb up the house and scan the second floor rooms. His room shouldn’t be hard to find. It’s probably full of rock metal band posters and has clothes scattered all over the floor-”

“Why is it always considered that boys’ rooms have rock band posters and clothes all over the floor. I mean, it’s kind of a vicious stereotype-” Michael interrupts. Jeremy gives him a look that shuts him up before continuing.

“Step three: Find the letter. Step four: Get out. See? It’s foolproof,” Jeremy says. He smiles smugly.

“How are we going to get in?” Evan asks.

“With a ladder,” Jeremy says.

“Or a grappling hook,” Michael cuts in.

Jeremy puts his hand in the middle. “Ready, Three-Player Game on three, one, two-”

“I thought we agreed to call it Operation Timber, you know, ‘cause our lives are going to be ruined either way,” Evan snaps.

“Well, only one person voted for that and majority rules, so...” Jeremy shrugs half sympathetically.

“Hands in the middle, one, two three-”

“THREE PLAYER GAME!”

*

_7:30 pm_

_The Murphy Residence_

Michael can’t help but feel something is missing when he parks three houses away from the Murphy residence. Only one person seems to be home, and judging from the loud music blaring Panic! At The Disco and wild dance moves, it is Zoe. She seems to be too caught up in her dancing to notice three boys sneak up to the window opposite to her.

Jeremy checks to make sure they have all their equipment. “Flashlights?”

Evan holds up three flashlights. “Check!”

“Helmets?”

“Check!”

“Ladder?”

“On top of Michael’s car!”

Jeremy’s grin fades. “We didn’t bring the ladder?!?!”

“Nope!” Evan says enthusiastically.

“Why do you sound so happy, we forgot a crucial part of the plan!” Jeremy yells.

“I’m dying inside!” Evan happily replies.

“Well, stop dying and start living! I remembered the grappling hook!” Michael holds up the grappling hook like it’s the Mountain Dew Red for defeating the Squip.

“How’s that going to help?” Jeremy questions.

“You can use it to pull you up? Like in the movies?” Michael says. He grabs the grappling hook and runs over to the window. He shoots the hook onto the eavetrough and pulls himself up!

Evan and Jeremy watch Zoe dance from her room. She doesn’t seem to aware that there is a kid currently picking at the window lock.

Michael opens the window and slides in. He throws down the grappling hook.

“What’s that for?” Jeremy asks.

“Aren’t one of you guys coming?” Evan asks.

Jeremy and Evan stare at each other expectantly. Evan gives the grappling hook to Jeremy.

“Why me?” Jeremy asks.

Evan waves his arm cast in front of him, annoyed, and shoves the grappling hook into Jeremy’s hand. Jeremy huffs and pulls himself up. He slides through the window.

Jeremy squints. The room has a neatly made double bed and a beautifully decorated dresser in the corner.

“We must be in the parents’ room,” Sebastian says. He and Jeremy sneak out of the room and tiptoe over to the next room. A bathroom. They tiptoe to the next room and open the door.

The room smells like intoxicated Febreze. Clothes are spilled all over the floor. An x-box is lying on one of the shelves by the bed. The wall is a jade green colour.

“Not too shabby,” Jeremy comments. Michael just runs straight to one of the drawers and rips it open.

“What are you waiting for? Start searching!” Michael orders. Jeremy begins throwing clothes everywhere, in search of the letter. He picks up several papers, but none are Evan’s letter.

“What font did he say his letter in?” Jeremy asks.

“Comic Sans,” Michael responds.

“Comic Sans??!” Jeremy exclaims.

“Yes, keep searching!”

“WHAT KIND OF PERSON STILL USES COMIC SANS?!?! WHO STILL USES COMIC SANS?!?!” Jeremy screams.

“Jeremy, shh! We can talk about this later!” Michael hisses.

“No! We need to go over WHY it is wrong to use Comic Sans!” Jeremy snaps.

“DOES IT REALLY MATTER???” Michael yells.

“YES IT DOES!” Jeremy screams.

*

Meanwhile, Zoe finally turns down her music a little. She can hear thumping noises and male voices. “CONNOR! SHUT UP, I’M DANCING HERE!” she yells. She waits for a reply.

Suddenly, the voices start screaming. None of them are familiar. Zoe’s eyes widen. _Intruders._ She quickly scoops up a frying pan used for emergencies in case Connor stormed into her room during the night.

Michael and Jeremy rip through piles of clothes and zoom in and out of drawers, still arguing about the letter’s font.

Suddenly, the door is kicked open. Standing in the doorway is a very pissed off Zoe Murphy.

*

Evan hums quietly to himself, waiting for the boys. The front door flies open and out runs Jeremy and Evan, screaming and covering their heads. Michael is yelping as Zoe continually hits him with her frying pan.

Evan yells at the boys to follow him. The three boys run down the block, screaming. They jump in their car and drive away! Zoe grunts triumphantly and skips back inside.

In the car, Jeremy angrily texts Opal.

 **PLAYER2** \- Opal, WHY THE HELL DIDN’T YOU TELL US ZOE EFFING MURPHY SLEEPS WITH A FRYING PAN UNDERNEATH HER PILLOW?!?!

*

_Present_

Opal stares at them incredulously. “So you’re telling me, you went through all that trouble just for a stupid letter in a stupid font.”

“Ha! I told you Comic Sans was stupid!” Jeremy yells triumphantly. Michael and Evan glare at him.

Opal is silent, then starts laughing loudly. “HEY CHRISTINE! JENNA! GET A LOAD OF THIS!!!” She runs off, laughing loudly.

**Author's Note:**

> Reviews are welcome! Have a nice day!


End file.
